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TEEN SOUL POWER
Anger, Bitterness and Resentment
Resentment is a Luxury you can Ill Afford !
Resentment is a Luxury you can Ill Afford !
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Nothing has destroyed relationships more than pride, anger and resentment. These are negative feelings, well entrenched in an attitude of unforgiveness. Resentment is persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury. While there is always an immediate sting underlying resentment, the real problem is that it is continued indignation over some form of a slight, be it intentional or as often unintentional.
Ironically, resentment creates a self-inflicted wound that only responsibility and forgiveness will heal. Nelson Mandella, once said, "Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." But the fact is that resentment hurts you more than anyone else. And if you harbor resentments long enough, they tend to misshape your character and cause a long term personality distortion where it starts to block love and blessings. Eventually it becomes an autonomic response that becomes a growing burden impacting upon home, friendships and even careers. It never ceases to amaze how long someone can hold resentment, or how often someone develops resentment. This is even more confusing where you see resentments over what most people would call an innocent or innocuous statement or action. One often hears the statement, "It’s the little things that sets him off." To be clear, resentment is a poison. It is masochistic in nature, meaning that while it may feel good to hold, in truth it is a self-destructive emotion. Make no doubt, while intended to be a retribution against another, resentment is a self-destructive emotion or attitude. The "I'll punish you" quickly turns into a self-defeating coping mechanism, and relationships once poisoned through resentment often never fully heal. As often, because of resentment there is no closure on an issue, and we don't heal either. Millions of people in recovery from addictions know - and rightly fear - resentment. It can easily lead them back into the life of drinking and drugging that they do not want. For them, one primary tool to help deal with resentment is the Serenity Prayer, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I must, and the wisdom to know the difference." Forgiveness and acceptance are much more powerful emotions to help one find peace and serenity, than bitterness and resentment will ever be. |
