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TEEN SOUL POWER
RISING ABOVE ANGER
A PRACTICAL APPROACH
"Be Careful with your Words...
once they are said they can only be forgiven,
not forgotten."
Anger is a normal response when people are feeling threatened. Everyone gets angry from time-to-time.
There are two problems with anger though: when anger becomes an automatic response and therein we lose control, and when anger becomes intense – often to the point where we say or do things we normally wouldn’t say or do –and ultimately we end up hurting someone’s feelings and sorry or even embarrassed by our actions.
Today people watch a lot of television. Unfortunately, hundreds of studies have shown that anger and violence on television easily translates into anger and violence in our daily lives.
If you feel that your “anger button” is too easy to push, that it has become your primary defense mechanism, there are some simple suggestions to help you control it. With practice one can “unlearn” old ways and replace them with newer and more healthy thoughts and actions.
There are two problems with anger though: when anger becomes an automatic response and therein we lose control, and when anger becomes intense – often to the point where we say or do things we normally wouldn’t say or do –and ultimately we end up hurting someone’s feelings and sorry or even embarrassed by our actions.
Today people watch a lot of television. Unfortunately, hundreds of studies have shown that anger and violence on television easily translates into anger and violence in our daily lives.
If you feel that your “anger button” is too easy to push, that it has become your primary defense mechanism, there are some simple suggestions to help you control it. With practice one can “unlearn” old ways and replace them with newer and more healthy thoughts and actions.
RULE NUMBER ONE: KINDNESS:
People may not remember what you said to them or what you did for them, but they will always remember how you treated them.
People may not remember what you said to them or what you did for them, but they will always remember how you treated them.
Professionals say that the Number One Way to strengthen your family and relationships is through the expression of kindness. William James, the father of American psychology, once commented that the most important need of all is the need to be treated in a gentle and kindhearted manner - we like to be around people who show us care and compassion. Yet, often we fail to express kindness, consideration or appreciation or say nice things to our spouses and children. To change this, we must begin to look for each other’s strengths, to give each other a sincere compliment, to practice showing love – and to let others know “You are important to me… I care about you… You are a good person.”
THE POWER OF KINDNESS
Wouldn’t it be great if you could walk into a store and buy lifelong happiness? The idea’s not as fanciful as it sounds—as long as whatever you buy is meant for someone else.
Recent studies suggest that kindness to others makes us happy, even happier than spending money on ourselves. What’s more, our kindness might create a virtuous cycle that promotes lasting happiness and altruism. In one study published in the Journal of Social Psychology, particpants completed “Life Satisfaction Surveys.” The group that practiced kindness and engaged in acts of kindness experienced a significant boost in happiness. The authors stated that good deeds do in fact make people feel good even when performed as few as 10 days.
In another study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies, researchers gave participants money to spend for “whatever would make them the happiest.” Consistent with the British study, people in general felt happier when they bought something for someone else—even happier than when they remembered buying something for themselves, but secondly, the happier participants felt about their past generosity, the more likely they were in the present to choose to spend on someone else instead of themselves. This presented a “positive feedback loop” between kindness and happiness, where one encourages the other. “The practical implications of this positive feedback loop could be that engaging in one kind deed (e.g., taking your mom to lunch) would make you happier, and the happier you feel, the more likely you are to do another kind act,” says Lara Aknin, a graduate student in psychology.
Recent studies suggest that kindness to others makes us happy, even happier than spending money on ourselves. What’s more, our kindness might create a virtuous cycle that promotes lasting happiness and altruism. In one study published in the Journal of Social Psychology, particpants completed “Life Satisfaction Surveys.” The group that practiced kindness and engaged in acts of kindness experienced a significant boost in happiness. The authors stated that good deeds do in fact make people feel good even when performed as few as 10 days.
In another study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies, researchers gave participants money to spend for “whatever would make them the happiest.” Consistent with the British study, people in general felt happier when they bought something for someone else—even happier than when they remembered buying something for themselves, but secondly, the happier participants felt about their past generosity, the more likely they were in the present to choose to spend on someone else instead of themselves. This presented a “positive feedback loop” between kindness and happiness, where one encourages the other. “The practical implications of this positive feedback loop could be that engaging in one kind deed (e.g., taking your mom to lunch) would make you happier, and the happier you feel, the more likely you are to do another kind act,” says Lara Aknin, a graduate student in psychology.
RULE NUMBER TWO:
Slow down ‑‑ and temper anger with understanding.
RULE NUMBER THREE:
Re-program your mindset: think how can I respond in a kindly way?
RULE NUMBER FOUR:
Do no harm; do not put yourself in harm’s way;
and where you find harm bring healing.
RULE NUMBER FIVE:
Practice Random Acts of Kindness – every day!
We need to stop looking at things as personal affronts
– as attacks or insults that threaten us.
The old adage “Sticks and Stones may break my bones,
but names will never hurt me”, is true.
